Good morning, today is Day 16 for me
My quit kind of snuck up on me. It came around the corner and landed in my lap when I wasn't fully expecting it, kind of like my 3 year old does sometimes -- except when he does it, it's fun.
Along with my sneaky quit, QSMB also came as a bit of a surprise -- I have not been fully ready for either one of them it seems, and so my ride thus far hasn't been mapped out.
Looking back I think that was a mistake, but nevertheless, here I am. To be clear, I'm not saying that either quitting OR joining this forum was a mistake -- it was the lack of a pre-planned road map that I think would really have been beneficial LOL So... if you're into road trips... well, it's kind of like that. You just throw all your crap in the car and go and with nowhere in particular in mind, you might find yourself lost for a minute, stressed out because of it, thinking it was a really bad idea, not feeling sure of where to go next... and then sometimes having the great benefit of seeing something you may have missed, enjoying the scenic route, experiencing something new & unexpected.
So yeah.. all of those things. And along the way I'm meeting people who are friendly & welcoming. Introducing me what they like best about what they have seen and experienced. Showing me some serious hospitality, sharing a little known awesome view if I go a little ways down that path over there -- sometimes I agree and it's an awesome view. Sometimes not so much, but they loved it and it was thoughtful for them to share. Then there are some people who don't speak my native language, so communication feels next to impossible. Then there are a couple who are like -- oh hey new person, come try this fabulous dish! We found this recipe and it's amazing! And I'm like, nah, I don't really like that, I tasted it and to me, it's gross.
No really, try it, you'll get used to it.
No, thank you for the offer but I really don't want it... you see I found this other dish and...
NO -- you need to eat THIS dish! THIS is the best one! Only a few people like the other one and they're wrong!
Yeah but actually I did review those ingredients and they kind of make my stomach hurt...
That's because you're a junkie addict nincompoop, go back to your town and eat your filthy garbage
No, I'm gonna tell you about my friggin recipe and exactly WHY I like it better
And so it goes. But then there are far more people saying, ya know what? Your recipe doesn't suck, it's ok. As long as you eat, it's gonna be ok. There are enough tables here for everyone.
Some have said, personally, I do like their dish, it's been pretty satisfying to me, but it's not for everyone, and I'd rather you have something you like than to starve all together.
Some have leaned over to whisper, I don't like their dish either, so I just kind of quietly eat my own over here and don't mention it.
I'm grateful that I'm not smoking today. I'm grateful for the many, many people who've allowed me to sit at their table whether or not we're enjoying the same dish. I'm grateful for those whom I haven't ever even connected with, but who left their travel log out for me to look over. I'm grateful for those who've sat with me to explore the many roads available on the map. I'm grateful to those who can point out to me which ones they've been down and share what they loved the most about it. I'm grateful there even though a lot of people took the interstate, there are still some who also enjoyed the rest stops, the landmarks, and the history of all the new places they're visiting too.
This is my "quit journey". It helps me personally to acknowledge the aspects of smoking that I enjoyed. It helps me to learn about why that happened. It helps me to understand how to best help my body through the physical process. It helps me to "talk out" things like dopamine, receptors, replacements, nicotine addiction, behavioral aspects, and other things -- that IS helpful for me. I think that in a perfect world I'd have started learning about those things long before my quit "landed in my lap" -- but I didn't. And so here I am starting at the beginning.
I recognize that a great many people start the journey and take the pre-made dish and gorge themselves on it until it becomes all they have a taste for -- they follow the well trodden, charted out path -- they have a great many hands to hold. They make it to Disneyland together, successfully. I'm coming too, I'll meet you there, I just might take a different route.