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I'm coming too, I'll meet you there.


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#1 FrazzledApril

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 02:19 PM

Good morning, today is Day 16 for me  :wub:

 

My quit kind of snuck up on me.  It came around the corner and landed in my lap when I wasn't fully expecting it, kind of like my 3 year old does sometimes -- except when he does it, it's fun.

 

Along with my sneaky quit, QSMB also came as a bit of a surprise -- I have not been fully ready for either one of them it seems, and so my ride thus far hasn't been mapped out.

 

Looking back I think that was a mistake, but nevertheless, here I am.  To be clear, I'm not saying that either quitting OR joining this forum was a mistake -- it was the lack of a pre-planned road map that I think would really have been beneficial LOL  So... if you're into road trips... well, it's kind of like that.  You just throw all your crap in the car and go and with nowhere in particular in mind, you might find yourself lost for a minute, stressed out because of it, thinking it was a really bad idea, not feeling sure of where to go next... and then sometimes having the great benefit of seeing something you may have missed, enjoying the scenic route, experiencing something new & unexpected.

 

So yeah.. all of those things.  And along the way I'm meeting people who are friendly & welcoming.  Introducing me what they like best about what they have seen and experienced.  Showing me some serious hospitality, sharing a little known awesome view if I go a little ways down that path over there -- sometimes I agree and it's an awesome view.  Sometimes not so much, but they loved it and it was thoughtful for them to share.  Then there are some people who don't speak my native language, so communication feels next to impossible.  Then there are a couple who are like -- oh hey new person, come try this fabulous dish!  We found this recipe and it's amazing!  And I'm like, nah, I don't really like that, I tasted it and to me, it's gross.

 

:-?   No really, try it, you'll get used to it.

 

:|   No, thank you for the offer but I really don't want it... you see I found this other dish and...

 

:evil:   NO -- you need to eat THIS dish!  THIS is the best one!  Only a few people like the other one and they're wrong!

 

:oops:   Yeah but actually I did review those ingredients and they kind of make my stomach hurt...

 

:furious:   That's because you're a junkie addict nincompoop, go back to your town and eat your filthy garbage

 

:doh:  No, I'm gonna tell you about my friggin recipe and exactly WHY I like it better

 

 

And so it goes.  But then there are far more people saying, ya know what?  Your recipe doesn't suck, it's ok.  As long as you eat, it's gonna be ok.  There are enough tables here for everyone. 

 

Some have said, personally, I do like their dish, it's been pretty satisfying to me, but it's not for everyone, and I'd rather you have something you like than to starve all together.

 

Some have leaned over to whisper, I don't like their dish either, so I just kind of quietly eat my own over here and don't mention it.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I'm grateful that I'm not smoking today.  I'm grateful for the many, many people who've allowed me to sit at their table whether or not we're enjoying the same dish.  I'm grateful for those whom I haven't ever even connected with, but who left their travel log out for me to look over.  I'm grateful for those who've sat with me to explore the many roads available on the map.  I'm grateful to those who can point out to me which ones they've been down and share what they loved the most about it.  I'm grateful there even though a lot of people took the interstate, there are still some who also enjoyed the rest stops, the landmarks, and the history of all the new places they're visiting too.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

This is my "quit journey".  It helps me personally to acknowledge the aspects of smoking that I enjoyed.  It helps me to learn about why that happened.  It helps me to understand how to best help my body through the physical process.  It helps me to "talk out" things like dopamine, receptors, replacements, nicotine addiction, behavioral aspects, and other things -- that IS helpful for me.  I think that in a perfect world I'd have started learning about those things long before my quit "landed in my lap" -- but I didn't.  And so here I am starting at the beginning.

 

I recognize that a great many people start the journey and take the pre-made dish and gorge themselves on it until it becomes all they have a taste for -- they follow the well trodden, charted out path -- they have a great many hands to hold.  They make it to Disneyland together, successfully.  I'm coming too, I'll meet you there, I just might take a different route.


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#2 luckyfish1

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 03:01 PM

That is exactly how it was for me 😳 this is day 4 for me
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#3 george1326

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 04:10 PM

I am coming up to Day 20. Dealing with the addiction-brain now. This will be a fairly long fight. The mantra I am trying to keep in my head is: "Don't quit your quit." The mantra to give up smoking was: "You have to quit smoking if you want to stop smoking." Somehow, these little sayings help.


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#4 Jillar

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 04:13 PM

I am coming up to Day 20. Dealing with the addiction-brain now. This will be a fairly long fight. The mantra I am trying to keep in my head is: "Don't quit your quit." The mantra to give up smoking was: "You have to quit smoking if you want to stop smoking." Somehow, these little sayings help.


Welcome George, congrats on twenty days quit :) Itd be great if you would start a thread and introduce yourself to everyone. Lots of good people here who would love to welcome you :)
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1zzrf54.jpg
Things began to get better when I realized I would remain quit even if things never got any better.

Christian99 15 Years Quit

We say here that it is better to be a nonsmoker with the occasional desire to smoke than a smoker with the constant desire to quit. Marciem
Being successful doesn't mean that you'll never GET to smoke again. It means that you'll never HAVE to smoke again.


#5 george1326

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 04:40 PM

Thanks, for the encouragement. I will go to the main board sooner or later. I am no stranger to quitting and re-quitting. I stopped once from 1986 to 1994. Stopped again from around 1998 to 2003. For me, nicotine/smoking is an insidious addiction. I have spent a lot of time thinking about the addiction, particularly when I first stopped in 1986. That was the result of American Lung Association classes in smoking cessation cold turkey. I learned a whole lot about the addiction as a whole and about myself and my relationship to tobacco/nicotine/smoking. In the 1980s, I was visualizing being a good example for the kids and not resenting No Smoking sections and policies that were beginning to emerge in those days. Second quit in the 1990s was aided by Zyban, which I would recommend. I tried to visualize healthier living, including bicycling and eating and drinking better foods. I started this quit with Zyban/Wellbutrin but abandoned it late last week in favor of a cold turkey approach. I am going to soon add relaxation and subliminal approaches. I am visualizing my grandchildren and the notion of healthier senior living free of COPD and the fears of cancers and heart diseases associated with smoking.


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#6 Smokefreetoday

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 04:52 PM

Way to go Frazzle, you are doing great.  One step at a time through this journey.  Meet you on the Lido deck 


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#7 FrazzledApril

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 04:56 PM

That is exactly how it was for me this is day 4 for me

 

Which part, luckyfish?  The quit "landing in your lap"?   :laughbounce:  

 

I floundered around with quitting for a while and the more time that passed, the more it nagged away at me and became slowly stronger.  I'd gone for my annual wellness physical during 2016 and talked with my Dr about quitting.  I requested Chantix because I'd had a previously positive experience with it during 2006.  So I picked it up from the pharmacy and put it into the coffee cup cupboard "for later".  It was kind of the elephant in the room, in my house -- hubby would ask occasionally when I'd intended to use it... soon, soon, at some point, when I'm ready.  So when the kid's started school in August and some of the craziness settled down I felt like... now will be a good time.  I mean, there's never "a good time" and never a better time than "now", but truthfully I didn't fully want to quit prior to that.

 

So lots of talk and no action happened for the first couple of weeks in September and then on our anniversary I gave my husband a fit bit and he gave me a vape.  Whomp whomp, hardly a great gift in my opinion, but we'd discussed that I'd wanted to use it.  So that's when it happened, it was time for me to actually quit instead of just talking about it.  I doubt I'd have done it yet if he didn't bring me that glorious gift  :mrgreen:

 

So I tried it, smoked cigarettes sometimes, changed the times I smoked and what I was doing when I smoked, started the chantix as directed, all the things... the chatix wasn't working out this time so I stopped taking it and threw it away, and eventually smoked my last cigarette.  

 

I don't love the vape, but I also don't hate it and I feel like it's been helpful overall.  I started with the 2nd lowest level of nicotine, today the lowest level arrived in the mail which should last about 2 weeks, then 0 mg is the next step... and then not vaping at all after that.  Unless I find that I enjoy it, then I might still do it.  I'm not sure yet.


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#8 FrazzledApril

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 05:06 PM

Thanks, for the encouragement. I will go to the main board sooner or later. I am no stranger to quitting and re-quitting. I stopped once from 1986 to 1994. Stopped again from around 1998 to 2003. For me, nicotine/smoking is an insidious addiction. I have spent a lot of time thinking about the addiction, particularly when I first stopped in 1986. That was the result of American Lung Association classes in smoking cessation cold turkey. I learned a whole lot about the addiction as a whole and about myself and my relationship to tobacco/nicotine/smoking. In the 1980s, I was visualizing being a good example for the kids and not resenting No Smoking sections and policies that were beginning to emerge in those days. Second quit in the 1990s was aided by Zyban, which I would recommend. I tried to visualize healthier living, including bicycling and eating and drinking better foods. I started this quit with Zyban/Wellbutrin but abandoned it late last week in favor of a cold turkey approach. I am going to soon add relaxation and subliminal approaches. I am visualizing my grandchildren and the notion of healthier senior living free of COPD and the fears of cancers and heart diseases associated with smoking.

 

I really love that you quit again and again.  I figure that many people would just have figured it didn't work, but you got back up.  My little ones are a big part of my motivation as well.  I'm an "older parent" and we can't live forever no matter what, so the best chance for me to be here with them as long as I can is to leave smoking in my past.  I will be interested to hear about some of the relaxation methods you choose and how they work for you.  I have dabbled in yoga over the years but never got much into it, but it's on my list of things to try as a method to help increase my dopamine levels.  Today was smoothie day.   :laughbounce:


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#9 luckyfish1

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 05:09 PM

Yes the landing in the lap 😂😂😂 im just so impatient i want to be a week quit i want to be a month quit just have it in my head that i will never smoke again so im kind of waiting for the time to go 😂😂😂 ridiculous really im never off this site 😂😂😂

#10 Jillar

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 05:16 PM

Yes the landing in the lap im just so impatient i want to be a week quit i want to be a month quit just have it in my head that i will never smoke again so im kind of waiting for the time to go ridiculous really im never off this site

 

I was glued to this site the whole first year too luckyfish and I truly believe I wouldn't have been able to stay quit without it :)


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image.png?base_img=5&size=0&date_yr=2016

 

1zzrf54.jpg
Things began to get better when I realized I would remain quit even if things never got any better.

Christian99 15 Years Quit

We say here that it is better to be a nonsmoker with the occasional desire to smoke than a smoker with the constant desire to quit. Marciem
Being successful doesn't mean that you'll never GET to smoke again. It means that you'll never HAVE to smoke again.


#11 luckyfish1

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 05:29 PM

😂😂😂 i am so underwhelmed with 4 days 😂😂😂 i have never really tried before i am a widower have smoked all my life pretty much but on sunday i found this site so registered and stopped my plan was to stop on new years day . Im cold turkey its hell yesterday i went for a walk i thought excercise air in my lungs brisk walk heart pumping yeah way to go andy 😳 reallity totally hated every minute of it thought about smoking every second of my walk but im thinking about smoking but im not thinking about actually smoking im kind of just waiting for it to go away dont matter how bad it gets i wont smoke 💪
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#12 Jillar

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 05:31 PM

Keep that attitude Andy, this first month is by far the hardest and was brutal for me too! You're doing great!!!!


image.png?base_img=5&size=0&date_yr=2016

 

1zzrf54.jpg
Things began to get better when I realized I would remain quit even if things never got any better.

Christian99 15 Years Quit

We say here that it is better to be a nonsmoker with the occasional desire to smoke than a smoker with the constant desire to quit. Marciem
Being successful doesn't mean that you'll never GET to smoke again. It means that you'll never HAVE to smoke again.


#13 george1326

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 05:33 PM

If you are really lucky, life is long. You can get (and take) second, third and even fourth chances and shots at the things that have been elusive or unattainable. No one is really keeping score. I believe that. Winning and losing are part of the same thing: playing and participating in the moment, unreservedly, with the whole soul. I am trying to do this quit with love and without reservation. That's all. As for the other relapses, I wish they had not occurred, but they did. I feel less guilty about them than pragmatic. For example, the latest relapse probably cost me in the neighborhood of $32,000 or more, not to mention a lot of worry about health and a lot of stupid behavior such as clustering in front of a building and smoking in rain and cold or hiding around the corner so my granddaughter wouldn't catch me...that kind of stuff. 


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#14 FrazzledApril

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 05:38 PM

Yes the landing in the lap im just so impatient i want to be a week quit i want to be a month quit just have it in my head that i will never smoke again so im kind of waiting for the time to go ridiculous really im never off this site

 

I can relate to the impatience LOL -- my ticker, yet again, is *wrong* and it's on my nerves again that it doesn't reflect the days I earned, the money I saved, and the smokes I avoided.  I need to see this.   :laughbounce:


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#15 FrazzledApril

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 05:41 PM

If you are really lucky, life is long. You can get (and take) second, third and even fourth chances and shots at the things that have been elusive or unattainable. No one is really keeping score. I believe that. Winning and losing are part of the same thing: playing and participating in the moment, unreservedly, with the whole soul. I am trying to do this quit with love and without reservation. That's all. As for the other relapses, I wish they had not occurred, but they did. I feel less guilty about them than pragmatic. For example, the latest relapse probably cost me in the neighborhood of $32,000 or more, not to mention a lot of worry about health and a lot of stupid behavior such as clustering in front of a building and smoking in rain and cold or hiding around the corner so my granddaughter wouldn't catch me...that kind of stuff. 

 

No regrets.  It's like the butterfly effect... if you were to change one thing that has already passed, you run the risk of changing all the things.  It is what it is and here we are.  


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#16 FrazzledApril

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 05:52 PM

i am so underwhelmed with 4 days i have never really tried before i am a widower have smoked all my life pretty much but on sunday i found this site so registered and stopped my plan was to stop on new years day . Im cold turkey its hell yesterday i went for a walk i thought excercise air in my lungs brisk walk heart pumping yeah way to go andy reallity totally hated every minute of it thought about smoking every second of my walk but im thinking about smoking but im not thinking about actually smoking im kind of just waiting for it to go away dont matter how bad it gets i wont smoke

 

It's been an uphill battle for me as well, it's been helpful for me to finally begin understanding what's been going on with myself physically, chemically, etc.  I know that's not necessarily very interesting or even useful to everyone, but it's given me a huge motivational boost to understand what's going on.  I feel more empowered now because I feel like I can actually DO something for myself, something tangible, something I have control over.  I'm proud of you for having gone out for the walk (even though you hated it ahahahaha!) -- for weeks all that I chose to do was sit around like a sloth trying to convince myself I'd made a great choice and that the suffering would soon pass... like a kidney stone.

 

I wish I had done what you did and gone out for my walk sooner  :doh:


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#17 luckyfish1

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 06:21 PM

😂😂😂 thats hilarious frazzled i hated it 😂 all i do is paint my house and read stuff on here i go to bed very early i try to stay in bed as long as possible so im being pretty slothy 😂😂😂 . Tommorow though am off into town so will walk again am meeting my friend for a costa and probably a large cake 🙄 thats another problem i just eat crap all the time 😂 so in the space of 92 hours i have stopped smoking but become addicted to eating sh.t doing no excercise painting my house slothing out on my sofa always on my mobile 😂😂😂 but cant imagine failing theres no way im going thru this again . We can do this no prob 👍😊
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#18 Kathleen0515

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 06:32 PM

dont matter how bad it gets i wont smoke

 

That's the key, right there! You keep that attitude and you're going to be successful. If you allow failure to be an option, there's a good chance you will fail. So welcome aboard luckyfish, and congrats on your quit. Just think, come New Years, you will already have 2 months under your belt  :smile:


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      phpus0IwXPM1_zps54aa894a.jpg"

"Grammy, why are you putting smoke in your body?"

 

I stopped putting smoke in my body on June 28, 2012. 


#19 luckyfish1

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 06:58 PM

2 months that will be cool cant wait new years eve no smoking that will be different 😊
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#20 avian3

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Posted 02 November 2017 - 10:53 PM

April, just as you have people leaning over and whispering to you how they don't like our dish either, I have been having some people whispering to me that they find your constant repeating this is getting exhausting and they wish you would get over it. That's fine if you don't agree and have your own way, You are still welcome here, just try to move on when people disagree with you.


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