I've been on and off of this forum for 7 years now. This is my third major attempt to quit in that period. I still recognize a few people's names, but by and large, I'm sure the community has changed quite a bit in that time. I'm sure I have too.
For at least the third time in my life, I am trying to quit smoking. I find that there's always an excuse to give in to the urge. Not a reason that would make sense to a sane person mind you, just an excuse that I can use to validate a habit that will eventually kill me.
I know all the reasons why I should quit. I've followed the advice in the forums, watched YouTube videos on the health effects, made my list of reasons why I should quit, planned my quits, etc. Yet I always find a reason to fail.
I stopped smoking again last Friday. So 5 days in. I've noticed that I feel nothing like I did last time I quit for this long. Much worse in fact. Last time, the nicotine withdrawals were far less intense. I mean, it sucked for the first couple of days pretty bad, but then eased up so quickly that I was surprised. I pretty much laid around this weekend watching football to get through the first few days. Quitting is easy when you can be lazy! Now it's halfway through the week and I feel like I should be up and about doing things. I'm not really a lazy person and I find it frustrating sitting around all day just so I don't smoke.
So today I went outside to do some yard work. It didn't take long for me to start with the excuses. "I hope I run out of gas so I can go to the gas station!" "Need more lawn bags- there's 3 gas stations on the way!"
I know how stupid this all sounds. But I also know how true it can be if I give in to it. So for now, I'll just have to be out of gas and have my wife pick up some lawn bags on her way home.
I think the feelings of uselessness are the worst. I've never had this type of experience in previous quit attempts. After day 4 or so, I was back to my normal self- no fogginess at all. Now I'm forgetting everything, fighting through a haze, and just generally hating life for the moment. I plan on switching jobs at the end of the month (no work 'til then), so I guess I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself too.
Has anyone else had multiple quit attempts that seemed like they were on opposite ends of the spectrum?