Hello! I´m 37 years old. I live in Mexico City. Sorry if my spelling/grammar is weird some times, but my natal language is Spanish. I started smoking at age 15 so, by now, I was a smoker for 22 years. I have periodontal desease, which means that the bone tissue in my teeth is "wearing" off (to explain it fast), so I can lose a tooth. On January 30th, of this year I had minor surgery of my teeth and my dentist told me it was the last call to save my tooth. That was the last day I smoked.
As time went by, I was amazed because I had no cravings and had very good humor. Perhaps my brain knew there was no way that I could smoke. I had stitches around my gums and I could only eat baby food. So smoking was out of the question. Everything went so well until one day my boyfriend decided to invite some friends over and they all smoked! As soon as the first one lit a cigaret I was out of my house on my way to the moves (a place where I wouldn´t even think of smoking). So between the time I bought my ticket, saw the movie, got out, catch up with a friend and came back home, I had 4 hours of smoke-free thoughts and peace in my self again.
People were thinking of moving to another house so I wouldn´t be bothered, but it meant to be left alone. So I suck it up, took a deep breath and my friends went out of the house to smoke.
The next event, where I really lost it, was past Saturday. Again, BBQ at my place, lots of people and smokers all around! I thought that, in order for me to quickly go through with socializing and not being left alone in my house anymore, I had to resist the temptation and go along, as if nothing bothered me. I was so wrong! I started feeling so angry and so uncomfortable. At 11:00 PM I was inside my room watching a movie, instead of being outdoors, having a great time with everyone. I started crying and, since then, I feel very irritable and sensitive at the same time. I though I already crossed the terrible symptoms of abstinence and all that, but it seems that it had only just begun! I feel so angry with my boyfriend because I think someone has to be responsable for my feelings today and I obviously know that it is so wrong to thing that. I would love to feel solidarity from him, maybe suggest plans that are smoking-free.
Today I feel that I no longer understand the party environment, that I don´t have to expose myself to situations that take away my peace. I have though of leaving my boyfriend and go live by myself! Of course I think that all this feelings are because I quit smoking.
Could anyone PLEASE help me ease my mind and my heart with some advice or information?
Thank yo so much!