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#1 Pol

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Posted 28 February 2017 - 12:07 AM

Hello! I´m 37 years old. I live in Mexico City. Sorry if my spelling/grammar is weird some times, but my natal language is Spanish. I started smoking at age 15 so, by now, I was a smoker for 22 years. I have periodontal desease, which means that the bone tissue in my teeth is "wearing" off (to explain it fast), so I can lose a tooth. On January 30th, of this year I had minor surgery of my teeth and my dentist told me it was the last call to save my tooth. That was the last day I smoked.

 

As time went by, I was amazed because I had no cravings and had very good humor. Perhaps my brain knew there was no way that I could smoke. I had stitches around my gums and I could only eat baby food. So smoking was out of the question. Everything went so well until one day my boyfriend decided to invite some friends over and they all smoked! As soon as the first one lit a cigaret I was out of my house on my way to the moves (a place where I wouldn´t even think of smoking). So between the time I bought my ticket, saw the movie, got out, catch up with a friend and came back home, I had 4 hours of smoke-free thoughts and peace in my self again.

 

People were thinking of moving to another house so I wouldn´t be bothered, but it meant to be left alone. So I suck it up, took a deep breath and my friends went out of the house to smoke.

 

The next event, where I really lost it, was past Saturday. Again, BBQ at my place, lots of people and smokers all around! I thought that, in order for me to quickly go through with socializing and not being left alone in my house anymore, I had to resist the temptation and go along, as if nothing bothered me. I was so wrong! I started feeling so angry and so uncomfortable. At 11:00 PM I was inside my room watching a movie, instead of being outdoors, having a great time with everyone. I started crying and, since then, I feel very irritable and sensitive at the same time. I though I already crossed the terrible symptoms of abstinence and all that, but it seems that it had only just begun! I feel so angry with my boyfriend because I think someone has to be responsable for my feelings today and I obviously know that it is so wrong to thing that. I would love to feel solidarity from him, maybe suggest plans that are smoking-free.

 

Today I feel that I no longer understand the party environment, that I don´t have to expose myself to situations that take away my peace. I have though of leaving my boyfriend and go live by myself! Of course I think that all this feelings are because I quit smoking.

 

Could anyone PLEASE help me ease my mind and my heart with some advice or information? 

 

Thank yo so much!

 

 


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#2 Nina the Quitter

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Posted 28 February 2017 - 12:21 AM

Welcome Pol, congratulations on your decision to quit.  It can be difficult at times to stay focused.  You can do this, use this site as your support, we are all here to help.

 

Ask your boyfriend to postpone socializing until you are more comfortable with your quit.  It just takes a little time to get use to not smoking.


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Never smokers take not smoking for granted, we quitters know the real value of being a nonsmoker.


#3 kinkash

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Posted 28 February 2017 - 12:25 AM

Affairs of the heart are hard but....do whatever you need to do to protect your quit!
When the student is ready...The teacher will appear-Soul
Fear of the quit is worse than the quit-Cookielinda
When you stop buying cig......You start paying for your addiction - jwg

Smoking is not some friend that brings you comfort. It is the Enemy that wants to kill you!
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#4 GraceLove

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Posted 28 February 2017 - 12:44 AM

I'm so sorry that you aren't getting the support you need right now. There are many people here who have quit while still having smoking spouses/partners... Imagine how hard that is! 24 hours a day around smoke! It is possible to quit no matter what other people do or do not do. It's about you. You make the decision to not smoke and stick with it. If you need to isolate yourself in your bedroom for awhile, do it. Whatever you need...do it.

 

((hugs))


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#5 Lust4Life

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Posted 28 February 2017 - 01:44 AM

Hi Pol & Welcome!  Congratulations on quitting smoking!  In the beginning, I had a hard time being with my friends.   Most of them still smoke.  I kept to myself for the first month of my quit.  It was hard at times but quitting smoking was more important than socializing.   As for living with your boyfriend who still smokes,  there are people here that live with smokers..hopefully they will chime in and offer advice.  You may just have to spend some alone time in your room until you are more confident and comfortable with your quit.   You have decided to save your teeth and health by quitting smoking.  Always remember the reasons you quit are way more important than any desire to smoke again.


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#6 Ethan

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Posted 28 February 2017 - 01:56 AM

Your quit date says you are 13 months quit, is that right?


It's easier to keep a quit than to start one.

 


#7 Jillar

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Posted 28 February 2017 - 02:01 AM

Welcome Pol, I agree with lust. I stayed home for the first two months because I didn't trust myself not to cave. You'll miss a couple things now versus years of things if you got a smoking related disease from relapsing. As far as your boyfriend, you could ask him to smoke outside away from you and keep his cigarettes out of site. Congratulations on being a month quit too btw :)

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Things began to get better when I realized I would remain quit even if things never got any better.

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We say here that it is better to be a nonsmoker with the occasional desire to smoke than a smoker with the constant desire to quit. Marciem
Being successful doesn't mean that you'll never GET to smoke again. It means that you'll never HAVE to smoke again.


#8 marciem

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Posted 28 February 2017 - 02:02 AM

Your quit date says you are 13 months quit, is that right?

I think that's a typo,  Ethan.... her OP says "On January 30 of this year"

 

LOL, I made the same kind of mistake when a doc was asking when I had a pneumonia shot.  This was in January, and I said "In February of this year"...  He laughed.  :)  


Quit Date 9/20/12
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S.moking is N.ot an O.ption T.oday
Better to be a nonsmoker with an occasional desire to smoke, than a smoker with a constant desire to quit.
Remember: everything bad about quitting is temporary, and everything good about quitting is permanent. TimidTulip
Not a day will ever go by that life is 100% perfect. But 100% of the days are better not smoking jwg
I feel no matter my outcome, quitting was still hands down the best thing I ever did....r.i.p. jwg 12/28/13
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#9 Phoebe77

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Posted 28 February 2017 - 08:16 AM

I was angry and irritable for months. I developed road rage and potty mouth. It got so bad my work colleagues organised an intervention of sorts. How brave was their spokesperson who said very calmly "Phoebe, you know we love you but you have turned into a cranky cow lately".

 

 

:|

 

 

I realised being angry and miserable wasn't going to make quitting any easier. So, be kind to yourself, protect your quit (you are doing a great job by the way!) and forgive yourself for being a little crazy if that's what you need to do. You are allowed. Your body and mind are experiencing profound healing. That's bound to shake things up a bit.

 

And when you can, when you are able, chose to be calm and secure in your resolve to stay quit. Let the craves just pass through you. Sit still and breath.


The past is only a memory and the future does not exist. All you have to deal with is this moment. Breath.

 

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#10 Stevo

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Posted 28 February 2017 - 12:51 PM

Pol,

You sound very stressed. Calm down. Do some breathing exercises. You jumped in the boat without oars. IMO you need to get out a piece of paper and start writing out a plan. I often tell my children to put things on paper when they are faced with a decision or undertaking that seems impossible. List your reasons for quitting, state your level of desire and commitment. Then start strategizing on how you can reach your goal, which might include talking to your boyfriend about how important this is to you. Your health is at stake. There are tremendous resources and people to guide and support you available on this site. Good luck. Peace.

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#11 Frank

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Posted 28 February 2017 - 04:07 PM

Hola Pol.

 

welcome to QSMB.  start by reading here:  http://www.quitsmoki...newbie-package/

 

Having the right education about our addiction is more than half the ticket to a better non-smoker life. Read, learn participate as much as you can around here, it will make the difference and keep you busy.

 

All the best !


 

Nov 6, 2011 I decided " I had enough with this sh*t "

I quit because I just got tired of the life under a rock, dark and with not enough air to breathe waiting for the day to get crushed!

Alcohol to a quit is like Kryptonite to Superman

Stop, Think and then React. Not React,Stop and then Think

Practice does not make it perfect, makes it permanent. Practice the right things!

Quitting is by far the best decision for the rest of your life.

If a Doctor gives you 6 months to live, would you start living after the first three? Quit now!

" I am a puff away form a pack a day"

Once you stop puffing or having Nicotine in any form, then and only then your symptoms will stop.

I quit with a frozen turkey. Once I felt comfortable with my quit,  I ate it.

Life is such a good teacher, that if you don't learn the lesson it will repeat it to you.

 

 

 


#12 Pol

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Posted 28 February 2017 - 07:34 PM

I want to thank yo all so much! I was amazed to have so many responses by now and all of them honest and kind. Yo gave me strength and peace of mind which is invaluable. I will read the information that you sent me. I´ll remind my self to breathe, write a plan of action, let me be a little crazy some times and remember to be nice to people. Today I feel a little bit better. I really thank you all for your support! 


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#13 Pol

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Posted 28 February 2017 - 07:37 PM

Oh! By the way, I quitted on January 30, this year. A month from today. Thank you for clearing this information. 


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Pol  

 

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#14 Phoebe77

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Posted 01 March 2017 - 12:20 AM

You have a wonderful plan to help you stay quit! Well done :)


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The past is only a memory and the future does not exist. All you have to deal with is this moment. Breath.

 

Kick Ass Member of The Avengers. Quit 11:50pm 23rd April 2014

 

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