Jump to content


Photo

Why so sad?!


  • Please log in to reply
19 replies to this topic

#1 krazykittygirl

krazykittygirl

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,434 posts
  • quitdate:
    2016-08-08

Posted 20 August 2016 - 06:54 PM

i feel as if I've been doing really well with my quit so far. It's been hard and I've had craves but this is different. I'm feeling a sad emotion that I can usually shake but can't seem to this time. It started last night when I heard from my mom that she was going to have to make the decision to put her 14 year old cat to sleep. The sweet kitty has a tumor and will not get better. Yesterday, she quit walking, eating or drinking. As I sat with my mom watching her hold this sweet ball of fur, I could do nothing but cry. I too love this kitty. I came home and cried myself to sleep and cannot shake this sadness. Before, I could have convinced myself that 14 is a good life for a cat, smoked a cigarette and felt better. I'm stronger than this. This time I cannot shake it. I keep thinking if I smoke this will feel better but I know that's not true and I refuse to do that. Can anyone tell me if they went through this in their early quit? It's just got to get better than this! I don't want to think that my whole emotional well being will be forever changed. Thanks in advance and I hope I didn't bring anyone down.

1470637801_25_1_USD_6_pinksec.png


#2 Jillar

Jillar

    Nothing Worthwhile Comes Easily

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 14,424 posts
  • quitdate:
    2016-05-29
  • LocationIn my living room

Posted 20 August 2016 - 06:58 PM

What you are feeling is completely normal at your stage kitty. Amplified by having to put your mom's kitty down. These first three weeks are brutal emotionally so just hang in there :)
  • krazykittygirl likes this

image.png?base_img=5&size=0&date_yr=2016


1zzrf54.jpg

 


 

Things began to get better when I realized I would remain quit even if things never got any better.

Christian99 16 Years Quit

We say here that it is better to be a nonsmoker with the occasional desire to smoke than a smoker with the constant desire to quit. Marciem
Being successful doesn't mean that you'll never GET to smoke again. It means that you'll never HAVE to smoke again.


#3 Nancy.

Nancy.

    Keeperbie

  • Moderators
  • 12,685 posts
  • quitdate:
    2013-07-07
  • LocationKnoxville, TN

Posted 20 August 2016 - 07:04 PM

Completely normal.  I sobbed and sobbed for no reason at all.  So very sorry about your Mom's fur baby.


Nancy

 

 

event.png

image.png?base_img=1&size=0&date_yr=2013

       

N.O.P.E. soldier_girl.gif
The only people who have craves forever are people that don't quit smoking ~ Eric
One puff is too much and 1000 cartons are not enough. ~ Hal


#4 krazykittygirl

krazykittygirl

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,434 posts
  • quitdate:
    2016-08-08

Posted 20 August 2016 - 07:14 PM

Thank you Jillar and nancy. I'm sorry you went through it but makes me feel better to know I'm not just losing it completely.
  • Nancy., Edna_Clouds and Jillar like this

1470637801_25_1_USD_6_pinksec.png


#5 MissyCat

MissyCat

    2014 Avenger

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 13,589 posts
  • quitdate:
    2014-10-21
  • LocationOntario, Canada

Posted 20 August 2016 - 07:21 PM

Quitting smoking is an emotional rollercoaster, for sure. This is a sad time for you and you are looking for comfort. A cigarette will not give you comfort, be sure of that. This is only your junky brain looking for a fix.

Sending positive energy your way (((krazykittygirl)))!
Carol
A 2014 Avenger
Smoke free since October 21, 2014

ddl449.jpg

1413921600_25_1_USD_8_default.png

#6 krazykittygirl

krazykittygirl

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,434 posts
  • quitdate:
    2016-08-08

Posted 20 August 2016 - 07:32 PM

Thank you missy cat. I will make it through with the advice from all of you wonderful supporters. That's for sure.

1470637801_25_1_USD_6_pinksec.png


#7 Smokefreetoday

Smokefreetoday

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 4,926 posts
  • quitdate:
    2016-07-10
  • LocationCanada

Posted 20 August 2016 - 09:02 PM

Hi KrazyKitty!  Yes a rollercoaster it is.  And the first few weeks it is pretty wild. I did the same ride with a few times sobbing as well.


  • krazykittygirl likes this

#8 Jeni

Jeni

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 9,310 posts
  • quitdate:
    04/03/13
  • LocationChester County, PA

Posted 21 August 2016 - 03:34 AM

Hi KKG...

So very sorry for the loss of your Mom's kitty.

While 14 is a good run...it is never a good time to lose someone you've loved.

I put down my two...each at age 18...one in 2014, and one in January of this year. It's brutal. There is nothing wrong...and really, everything right...with your feeling and acknowledging the pain of that loss.

As awful as it is, the fact that you've chosen to remain smoke-free in spite of such horrible circumstances speaks volumes of your commitment to quitting. How easy it could have been for you to decide to smoke. But you didn't! You get it! The proper sequence is You>>>Quit>>>Life. No matter what!

The sadness (outside of the loss of your Mom's cat) may stick around for awhile. I had a lot of it in the first months...sometimes crying inexplicably.

You're going to be just fine. You've got 12 great days!

Glad you are here! :)
  • krazykittygirl likes this

#9 krazykittygirl

krazykittygirl

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,434 posts
  • quitdate:
    2016-08-08

Posted 21 August 2016 - 02:25 PM

Thank you jeni. Still very sad but can attribute to both nonsmoking and loss of a beloved fur baby. Yes. I'm still thinking a cigarette would cure all the pain. How crazy is that? I'm sticking with it, hanging in there and praying for brighter days. Good to know maybe a few months of feeling out of sync will turn into a much healthier me.
  • Jeni likes this

1470637801_25_1_USD_6_pinksec.png


#10 Jillar

Jillar

    Nothing Worthwhile Comes Easily

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 14,424 posts
  • quitdate:
    2016-05-29
  • LocationIn my living room

Posted 21 August 2016 - 04:44 PM

Kitty, a cigarette WILL not cure the pain and we know this! Plus think how bad you will smell?! I'm doing much better today and can promise you that aside from a bad day here and there it does get better! :) keep smelling great my friend!
  • krazykittygirl likes this

image.png?base_img=5&size=0&date_yr=2016


1zzrf54.jpg

 


 

Things began to get better when I realized I would remain quit even if things never got any better.

Christian99 16 Years Quit

We say here that it is better to be a nonsmoker with the occasional desire to smoke than a smoker with the constant desire to quit. Marciem
Being successful doesn't mean that you'll never GET to smoke again. It means that you'll never HAVE to smoke again.


#11 Kathleen0515

Kathleen0515

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,798 posts
  • LocationDown by the River

Posted 21 August 2016 - 08:46 PM

Perfectly normal at this stage of your quit. I felt such an "emptiness" for the first few months, really lonely like I had lost my best friend. Which I had  :wink: . I wrote a post once about how smoking wasn't just what we did, a smoker was who we were. Our cigarettes defined us, we were always always on that roller coaster of craves, either needing or fulfilling. After you quit, it's just flatlining for a while. I think when a sad event happens like what you are experiencing with the loss of your Mom's kitty, it triggers a deeper sadness which is connected to the loss we are already feeling. Just wait it out, everything right now is magnified, but I promise you it won't always be this way.


  • Nancy., Jillar and krazykittygirl like this

image.png?base_img=1&size=0&date_yr=2012

 

      phpus0IwXPM1_zps54aa894a.jpg"

"Grammy, why are you putting smoke in your body?"

 

I stopped putting smoke in my body on June 28, 2012. 


#12 Lynn L

Lynn L

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 795 posts

Posted 22 August 2016 - 02:26 AM

(((Kitty)))  You have it within you to get through this sadness.  Cry, cry, cry.  Your world is changing and you have to step up and accept the challenge.  How unfortunate that you also have the burden of dealing with the passing of your Mom's furbaby.  You can do this.  You can inspire us all !!  Keep your chin up and be vigilant.  Smoking is not an option.  You know this. 

 

You were smart enough to quit and come to QSMB for support, we know you are smart enough to know smoking is not an option !!  Keep being the intelligent person you are !!  Stay Quit ! 


  • Jillar and krazykittygirl like this

#13 krazykittygirl

krazykittygirl

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,434 posts
  • quitdate:
    2016-08-08

Posted 22 August 2016 - 11:27 AM

Thank you for your words Kathleen and Lynn. Yes it was definitely a roller coaster ride over the weekend. I think you were right Kathleen that the loss of thy kitty just triggered a deeper feeling I was having. I have just never quite experienced anything like the sadness I was having. It was almost a feeling of there being a hole in my stomach. We buried lily kitty yesterday and I stayed with my mom until she felt better. I'm feeling better this morning. I got through the tough weekend Without smoking and ready to face another week. I just hope I can jump off this roller coaster soon!!
  • Kathleen0515, Jillar and JDmississippi like this

1470637801_25_1_USD_6_pinksec.png


#14 Wana

Wana

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 2,424 posts
  • quitdate:
    2015-12-22
  • LocationDes Moines, Iowa

Posted 22 August 2016 - 01:22 PM

KKG - wish we could transport you forward in time so you could get a quick taste of the sweet freedom from smoking that you're headed for.  You will be so in love with the feeling of being free from smoking, and the thought of smoking.  When you get over the hump it is amazing.  So inspired by your attitude - you're doing great!


  • Jillar, krazykittygirl and JDmississippi like this

1450746000_20_1_USD_7.2_default.png


#15 jebstewart

jebstewart

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 287 posts
  • quitdate:
    2015-01-16
  • Locationsouthwestern mountains of virginia, usa

Posted 22 August 2016 - 05:37 PM

bummer for you all and the cat.  am a cat loving human bean and know well the attachment.

 

are you still on the chantix?  if so, keep in mind it can really amp up emotions too.  

 

the best part is you're still quit.  all things will pass.  just another part of life, death.

 

good luck!

 

love you, mean it,

 

jeb


  • krazykittygirl likes this

:wub:

 

 

5fea3866e7.png

 

2dr760j.jpg


#16 krazykittygirl

krazykittygirl

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,434 posts
  • quitdate:
    2016-08-08

Posted 22 August 2016 - 06:59 PM

Yes, Jeb, I am still on the Chantix but up until now I have thought I was one of the lucky ones that was not having an adverse effects. I'm still not ready to blame the Chantix. I am going to blame most of it on the experience of having to lose our beloved furbaby and me being the one who had to take her and watch her go to sleep. That's got to be one of the hardest things anyone has to do. I'm still at the verge of tears over the slightest things. I would like to think that a combination of losing a much loved pet, seeing my mom grieve and given what my body is going through while recovering from nicotine is a lot! I pray for a better day and if not today, maybe tomorrow. The truth is that even though I have let the thought of a cigarette pass through my mind, it was never strong enough to feel like I needed to go buy a pack. I just hope that continues and I hope this feeling gets better soon. Thank you all for your support.
  • Jeni, Nancy. and JDmississippi like this

1470637801_25_1_USD_6_pinksec.png


#17 Jillar

Jillar

    Nothing Worthwhile Comes Easily

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 14,424 posts
  • quitdate:
    2016-05-29
  • LocationIn my living room

Posted 22 August 2016 - 07:10 PM

Oh Kitty, I'm so glad that through such a hard time you still did not want to smoke. I had to put my baby down a few years ago. He and I "grew up together" as he was my first indoor cat and my room mate when I moved out for the first time. What helped me when I had to put him down was knowing that 1. I was there with him so he wasn't alone and 2. That letting him go was the last thing I got to do for him for the unconditional love he gave me over the last almost 18 years instead of being selfish and trying to keep him around for my sake. I have him in my bookcase and when the time comes we will be scattered together :)

Attached Files


  • Jeni and Lynn L like this

image.png?base_img=5&size=0&date_yr=2016


1zzrf54.jpg

 


 

Things began to get better when I realized I would remain quit even if things never got any better.

Christian99 16 Years Quit

We say here that it is better to be a nonsmoker with the occasional desire to smoke than a smoker with the constant desire to quit. Marciem
Being successful doesn't mean that you'll never GET to smoke again. It means that you'll never HAVE to smoke again.


#18 krazykittygirl

krazykittygirl

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,434 posts
  • quitdate:
    2016-08-08

Posted 22 August 2016 - 09:21 PM

Well Jillar, that just made me cry all over again. You absolutely understand. I have such a soft heart when it comes to animals, it's almost unhealthy. You are right, it is an unselfish thing to do to allow them to go peacefully. Thanks for being there. xoxo
  • Jillar likes this

1470637801_25_1_USD_6_pinksec.png


#19 BKP

BKP

    Advanced Member

  • Validating
  • PipPipPip
  • 905 posts

Posted 23 August 2016 - 12:30 AM

Hi krazykittygirl

 

Referring to the early part of ones quit, you said, "It's just got to get better than this! I don't want to think that my whole emotional well being will be forever changed".  Well I've got news for you. It will be changed......for the better.  In time you will find so much more stability, contentment, and calmness as a nonsmoker.

  

Nothing will prevent you from experiencing the sadness that pops up throughout life, but your overall well being will eventually be so much better!  I promise.  


  • Jillar and JDmississippi like this

 

  


#20 krazykittygirl

krazykittygirl

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,434 posts
  • quitdate:
    2016-08-08

Posted 23 August 2016 - 12:52 AM

Thank you BKP!! It's so encouraging to hear great things about a quit when you're feeling so discouraged and vulnerable. Time sometimes feels as if it has stopped when it usually flies by.

1470637801_25_1_USD_6_pinksec.png





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users