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Sad, but so grateful...

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#1 Jeni


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Posted 16 January 2014 - 11:48 PM

Hi Everyone...

I haven't been around as much as usual lately. I spent last week with my Dad and step-Mom in Florida, and their internet wasn't the best. I felt like I was having to break another addiction being away from you guys! :)

There are so many wonderful "newbies" here, and I wish you all success! It's your choice as to whether you make it or not, and I have great hope for each of you to remain smoke-free for a lifetime!

A little background, since so many are new. My step-sister, Debbee, was diagnosed with lung cancer at the end of March 2013. That spurred me to quit a week later with the help of a hypnotist. I lurked around this board for months, and finally introduced myself 3 months into my quit. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that the people here made all the difference in my solidifying my decision never to smoke again. I am so grateful for each of you.

Debbee died on December 11. She was 52. She fought like hell, but couldn't beat the cancer once it progressed to her brain.

Last week, I helped my Dad go through Debbee's things. It's amazing what our lives get reduced to. I know that I have changed my mind forever about "saving" things. Use it now, and enjoy it, or get rid of it!

The past couple of days, I have felt an almost unbearable sadness. I am a little bit surprised by it, as I wasn't especially close to this side of my family for most of my life. It actually amazes me how they were used to have such a huge impact on the rest of my life...could never have predicted that.

Here's the thing...as sad as I've been, and despite the tears that have fallen, I have never once, for even a second, considered smoking a cigarette. I am so grateful and blessed to finally be free from this horrible addiction. I will continue to have problems, sadness, loss, etc. for as long as I live. But I will never see smoking as an answer, and I am so grateful that I can say for sure that I will never smoke again.

I'm no special snowflake. If you are in the first hour, or day, or week, or month of your quit, this can be you, too. All you have to do is N.O.P.E. Or, as some are fond of saying, don't put things in your mouth and set them on fire.

Blessings to all of you, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for how you have been there for me since I've been here.

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#2 avian3


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Posted 16 January 2014 - 11:53 PM

What a great post, Jeni, and thanks for sharing your personal thoughts. My heart goes out to you and your family.

QUIT September 14, 2010

#3 Guest_Liziloo_*

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Posted 16 January 2014 - 11:54 PM

I've missed you, Jeni!  So sorry about all the pain and sadness you have had to endure, but it is a beautiful thing that you keep coming here to help others, even in your pain.  Thank you!


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#4 Beacon


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Posted 17 January 2014 - 12:14 AM

Jeni, I was asking about you. I know it is very hard to go through what you are going through. The essence of the person is part of their belongings in a way and it feels so very final when you need to go through them. I know it wan't easy but I am sure your parents were happy you came to help them. It is almost unbearable. But you know that your sister lives on by your memories of her and the memories of her family and friends.

This addiction is such a horror and I am glad we are free ((Jeni))
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#5 C3000


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Posted 17 January 2014 - 12:18 AM

Hi Jeni, I'm looking forward to interacting with you on the board. I am new. Thank you so much for sharing this. I am sorry for your loss. Big hearts can experience big love and big sadness. My thoughts are with you and your family.
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#6 kinkash


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Posted 17 January 2014 - 12:24 AM

Thank you for sharing that. We never know whose reading...this could save a life.
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When the student is ready...The teacher will appear-Soul
Fear of the quit is worse than the quit-Cookielinda
When you stop buying cig......You start paying for your addiction - jwg

Smoking is not some friend that brings you comfort. It is the Enemy that wants to kill you!

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Posted 17 January 2014 - 12:25 AM

I agree, I am, "no special snowflake". If I can quit anyone can. I hope that I hold up to the difficulties that life inevitably brings as well as you are. My daughter and I are not close but I can't imagine if she were to pass before me.
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#8 Lynn04


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Posted 17 January 2014 - 12:26 AM

Welcome back Jeni.  Thank you for sharing your story to strengthen our quits and hopes to start other peoples quits. You are a strong, caring person Jeni.  You should be proud of yourself. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.

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“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations    


"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass... it's about learning how to dance in the rain!"

-- Patrick H. Hughes


Quit date- June 16, 2013

#9 Blondie


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Posted 17 January 2014 - 12:29 AM

Thank you for sharing a personal part of your life with us. I am sorry for your loss and am glad it has had no negative impact on your quit. Glad to have you back on the board. Your wisdom will help us.
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"Most people, who have quit smoking, have had at least one unsuccessful try in the past. It is not important how many times you try to quit. The only important thing is, that eventually you stay quit"  Ralph Waldo Emerson




#10 Agent99



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Posted 17 January 2014 - 12:37 AM

Welcome back Jeni. I'm so sorry for all you've been through.  You've been in my thoughts.

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Bi_Girl_Cheerleaders.gifGo Quitters!!!




#11 Paul723


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Posted 17 January 2014 - 12:42 AM

Cigarettes are about cigarettes, people are only collateral damage. I'm sorry for the loss of your sister.
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 Award for Contributions to the Numbers Game 2013

#12 trevor82


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Posted 17 January 2014 - 12:51 AM

Jeni, that was a very thoughtful, touching, and heart felt post. Thank you for sharing. 

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I have discovered a peace in quitting that I had forgotten even existed, and now a year later and a year older, I find myself like a child again full of awe and wonder with dreams for a new tomorrow. - jwg

#13 Jmac


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Posted 17 January 2014 - 12:59 AM

The past couple of days, I have felt an almost unbearable sadness.

We are here to cheer you up Jeni! Thank you for sharing your success story! :-P

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#14 Holski



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Posted 17 January 2014 - 01:06 AM

Oh Jeni, Im so sorry for you and your family's sadness. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Showing us it can be done, no matter what! (((Jeni)))
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"A journey of a thousand miles, starts with one step."  -Taken from the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu-


"Recognize the Truth -- YOU control your hands and your mouth. NOTHING can make you smoke unless you decide to do it." Terry Martin


"NO WAY I'll put that stinking s*** stick in my mouth." Chani


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#15 PipB


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Posted 17 January 2014 - 01:08 AM

((( Jeni )))) - welcome back and thanks again for sharing your story
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My Freedom Date was 11 July 2013

#16 action


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Posted 17 January 2014 - 01:34 AM

Jeni, I missed you!

I also wanted to thank you for that great post - your words are always very inspirational to me - it almost feels as if you are speaking to me directly!!

You and your family are still in my prayers.
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Class of Fall/Autumn Quitters 2013

#17 billquit


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Posted 17 January 2014 - 01:35 AM

Just awesome Jeni! You're so sweet. A wonderful post.

I am a special snowball! lol.

I'm glad you're here!


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Bill Quit..yes he did. 

#18 marciem


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Posted 17 January 2014 - 01:40 AM

Thank you for the powerful message, (((Jeni))). 


I'm so sorry for your loss and what you and your family is dealing with now.  Hopefully the pain will soon become softer for all of you...

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Quit Date 9/20/12
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S.moking is N.ot an O.ption T.oday
Better to be a nonsmoker with an occasional desire to smoke, than a smoker with a constant desire to quit.
Remember: everything bad about quitting is temporary, and everything good about quitting is permanent. TimidTulip
Not a day will ever go by that life is 100% perfect. But 100% of the days are better not smoking jwg
I feel no matter my outcome, quitting was still hands down the best thing I ever did....r.i.p. jwg 12/28/13
Like John, no matter my own outcome, quitting smoking is hands down the best thing I've ever done... mlm 2/16/17                                                       

#19 SallytheOwl


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Posted 17 January 2014 - 01:43 AM

That was a beautiful post. That was a life altering experience; thanks for sharing with everyone... Actually, Jeni, I think you ARE a special snowflake. Love and hugs (((((Jeni)))))
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Quit date: 5/23/13


#20 Kerri


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Posted 17 January 2014 - 01:51 AM

Hi Jeni,
I remember that day. I joined the board on December 11th and saw your post about Debbee. And two days later you were responding to my post about having bloody snot. I couldn't believe that you would take the time to send me a message during such an awful time in your life. It's people like you that make this board great and have a lasting impactful impression on the newbies looking for answers. I just wanted to let you know that while you are thanking those that were there for you, there are others that look at you in the same way. You are an important part of the support system for this board. Thank you for that and for being so kind to me.

I am so sorry about the difficulties you have endured recently and I hope it helps to know you make a difference in our lives.
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 If you have come to terms with your nicotine addiction there is no disputing the definition of "quitting".......it is crystal clear.

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